Thread:TheMysteriousHood/@comment-27021824-20180620221056

I was bored out of my mind while wriitng this. This may only be useful if you're REALLY poor or if Earth gets struck by nukes, food supply becomes diminished and you somehow manage to find this tutorial.

(Boris from Life of Boris' voice activates)

If you look at your wallet and notice nothing but air out of it (save for some coins or paper notes), you may wonder how will you manage to get though a month without starving to death.

Well, no worries, I made some calculations which may (or may not) be accurate and make sure you eat enough to survive each month.

So, let's try various different methods on what you can eat to survive a month.

1) Potatoes.

According to some researches I did, 1 kilogram of potatoes has 767 calories. A male person will need a fair 2500 calories a day, but women have it better because they need only 2000, a noticable difference

So, if you're a male, you will need 3.25945241199 kilograms of potatoes to consume precisely 2500 calories, but women will need almost a kilogram less, 2.6075619296 kilograms to be precise.

But cost now plays an important factor.

In USA, one kilogram of potatoes is a whopping 2.44 $, seventh highest price of one kilogram of potaotes in the world.

That means that if you're a man, you will have to pay 7.95306388527 $ for 3.25945241199 kilograms of potaotes to survive a day, and you will need 246.544980443 $ to survive a month with 31 days, that's at least 2.5 times more than the GDP per capita of Central African Republic.

But if you're a woman, you will have an advantage that you will only have to eat 6.36245110821 kilograms of potatoes to get 2000 calories, and that will be 197.235984355 $ for each 31 day month, which is a decent difference.

These are the Main Nutrients content found in 1 Large Potatoes Welp, it seems that a potato has pretty much all useful things you need to survive, but we can't just bite it and think we will eat something, nonono, that blyat is all wrong.
 * Vitamin C= 28.7 mg (48%)
 * Vitamin A= 29.9 IU (1%)
 * Vitamin E (Alpha Tocopherol)= 0.1 mg (1%)
 * Vitamin K= 6.0 mcg (7%)
 * Thiamin= 0.2 mg (13%)
 * Riboflavin= 0.1 mg (8%)
 * Niacin= 4.2 mg (21%)
 * Vitamin B6= 0.9 mg (46%)
 * Folate= 83.7 mcg (21%)
 * Pantothenic Acid= 1.1 mg (11%)
 * Choline= 44.2 mg
 * Betaine=0.6 mg
 * Calcium= 44.8 mg (4%)
 * Iron= 3.2 mg (18%)
 * Magnesium= 83.7 mg (21%)
 * Phosphorus= 209 mg (21%)
 * Potassium= 1600 mg  (46%)
 * Sodium= 29.9 mg (1%)
 * Zinc= 1.1 mg (7%)
 * Copper= 0.4 mg (18%)
 * Manganese=0.7 mg (33%)
 * Selenium=1.2 mcg (2%)
 * Protein= 7 grams
 * Calories=278 (14%)
 * Total Omega-3 fatty acids= 38.9 mg
 * Total Omega-6 fatty acids= 129 mg
 * Water= 224 grams
 * Total Carbohydrates= 63.2 grams (21%)
 * Dietary Fiber= 6.6 grams (26%)
 * Starch= 51.6 grams
 * Sugars= 3.5 grams

We can cook it, bake it, roast it, fry it and do whatever the fuck we want with it, but we will likely need something along with it, as we all should avoid eating the same type of food 24/7.

What can we use? Cooking oil? Onions?

Well, there is no limit, just use whatever is not toxic and people think is safe for consumption (though larger, more nutrient and calorie rich food should be eaten much more)

Now, I want to tell you a recipe I made out of boredom (inspired by one recipe from the video made by Life of Boris)

You will need:

5-6 potatoes.

1 onion (1 kg of onions in USA is 2.47 $)

Some cooking oil.

A frying pan

Step 1: Put oil in the pan.

Step 2: Cut up the potaotes in any way you want (I prefer circle shape) and put the in the pan. (Potaoes for this portion may cost 0.24$ depending on where you live)

Step 3: Find a pot lid large enough to cover the pan and close it for some time.

Step 4: While it fries, cut up an onion in a circle shape too and wait until it fires (an onion will likely cost about 0.02 $ for this portion, also dependant on place where you live)

Optional step: Cut up the garlic and add it later (0.05 $ per portion, two cloves is fair enough)

Step 5: After potatoes are fried enough, add onions (or garlic if you chose it), you can add some condiments, but the point of this post is not to make some really tasty thing, instead, the point is to make a meal just to feed you family.

Step 6: Fry long enough (don't cover it with the lid when you add onions and garlic) until you think it's over.

Step 7: Enjoy it.

Warning: Do not try this at home if you are really inexperienced with cooking, as you know it, you can burn down your house/flat/apartment/wherever you live. If you struggle with cooking or are just too young, consider having help from older family members like your parents.

Total cost of this portion is usually around 0.31 $.

There you have it now. 