Thread:Hellmynamejeff/@comment-34979284-20180624195505/@comment-34979284-20180625151639

Okay, I read this one.

I like your story because it doesn't only take place in Minecraft, but... It... took a really dark turn. Dj asked Alex to kill himself or Lily dies, or they both die. Yeah, really took a dark turn. Also, there are a lot of spelling mistakes, but they don't bother me too much. I got confused by the part, when Alex suddenly is in the game. So... can Dj pull people in real life into games? AND even when Alex was banned, he was still pulled into the game. And I find that Alex shouldn't be so calm about Dj asking him to commitzing suicide or kill Lily. Alex was like, "ummmm" I mean... I expected him to be really scared or something like that. But for your first pasta, it's alright. I expect more from you though.

6.5/10