Talk:Blurry/@comment-31322722-20180701235209

So, I think I’ll leave a comment about your writing style instead of the plot.

Too. Many. Commas.

Having too many commas makes your writing seem more rushed, and can be used effectively when your story starts to reach the climax, or a point where the characters are very anxious, or (metaphorically) surrounded in a hurricane of emotion, you might say, but here, commas are often used instead of periods, and it doesn’t do the story justice for some of it.

Above is an example of a run-on sentence that probably could have been broken up into different sentences.

Well, that’s just my opinion anyway.