South Carolina

The following contents are whole-heartedly true, and not false. If they were false, you would be dead.

Part 1: The New World
One day, I decided I had not played Minecraft in a while, and I decided I should open it back up again. After letting it do a couple of updates, I was on my way to making a new world. After making my new world, I was able to obtain wood, to make my very own (very epic) house. It had a frame made of sandstone, and the walls were all oak, with acacia floors. I remembered this house very fondly, as I had dreamt about it in my sleep.

Part 2: Independence
On the fateful night of April 20, 2011, I opened my Minecraft world, and to my horror, I was no longer in my beautiful house. Instead, I had ended up in a much worse place, a place nobody wants to end up; a Hard Rock Cafe, in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I was astounded as to how this was pulled off within Minecraft, it looked just like the real thing. I can't believe I was able to hate myself so much from the comfort of my own home, I didn't even have to go to South Carolina to accomplish such a feat! It was a 100% perfect South Carolina simulation, within Minecraft, complete with all the awful visuals, tastes, and smells of the real place. Upon walking outside of the Hard Rock Cafe, I was blown by a gust of pollen, and completely turned yellow, unable to see anything. After wiping off my eyes, to my horror, it was right there. A water park—that was not up to code. Someone could seriously get hurt on that, and someone did. It was me.

Part 4: Return
After completing my assassination contract, I was able to return back to South Carolina's base of operations, a Golden Corral, where I was able to obtain the n-word pass, as payment with my contract. I can now say the n-word, whenever, wherever, and however I want. Once I returned to the Hard Rock Cafe, I found a newly established portal, much similar to a nether portal, only it was made with dishes that were only washed with half of the effort of maybe a McDonald's. Upon walking through said portal, I ended up back in my beautiful shack, where I was able to notice that my world was within a server. Immediately, I took advantage of my new-found ability, and I did it. I said the n-word, in a Minecraft server.

I was banned.