Thread:Bella1963/@comment-32555140-20180627012913

So I'm working on this Pasta that is basically someone took all my happy saving the world adventure stories, threw them out the window, and made as dark if not darker than Shadow of Unknown. I just thought I'd share an excerpt with you for some feedback. Thank you. I also shared this with Hood.

Rain.

It was raining. It fell down like bullets from a machine gun.

The empty halls are filled with the lingering screams.

I like it.

The thunder crackled as I remembered how my arch-nemesis and anyone who could stand against me were dead.

This is fun. The world is my oyster...

Perfect.

I continued to float as the shadowy ghost-like bottom part of my body closed behind me.

Lightning crackled outside blowing my hair in my face.

Fuck the lightning. I suppose if it weren't for it though... I wouldn't be where I am today.

I like the rain.

The holes in the floors reminded me of our many battles.

Why must I mourn the loss of the one person who got in my way the most?!

It's certainly ridiculous. The blood from all the useless children in this school drops down from the ceiling.

Why is that one murder so different?

I suppose I should not dwell on the past. Nothing good comes from that.

A corpse hung in front of me as I continued to float. The rope was still covered in fresh and dried blood.

A ceiling tile fell on me.

Motherfucker.

I let my cubic hands call behind me and sway in the wind.

My mind was still racing.

Fine.

Let's pay a visit to whom that I wish was here. Making a portal to Hell isn't that hard.

I floated through my portal.

I breathed the fresh air and observed the hellish landscape.

Beautiful.

In front of me, a few feet away, a boy kneeled chained to two posts.

His usually straight brown hair was messy and his green eyes bloodshot.

Tears dripped down from his face like a drippy faucet.

Sore loser.

He looked up for a moment and his eyes fixated on me.

He looked down again a split second later as if to pretend I wasn't here.

I curved my lips into a smile.

I floated over to my helpless prey as he kneeled lifeless.

He looked up at me.

"What do you want Batwing4?" He weezed.

"Wow, for a famous war hero you really know how to kill moods. Calling out someone else's name is just plain rude.~" I taunted sitting on a rock in front of him.

He looked up again.

"Fine..." He muttered.

"ShadowShard?" He asked.

"Now there we go, good boy." I pat his head as if he was a dog.

He looked down again, ignoring me.

I giggled.

"You can't get rid of me no matter what you try.~" I said to the broken teen.

He looked up again.

"Fuck... You..." He said staring straight at me.

It was sorta startling but not really.

"Wow, its funny. Did you ever expect me to win?" I half-gloated.

"What is this... Some sort of... Interrogation? You won... Isn't that enough...?" He said.

"No. I'm lonely these days and I just came here for some company. I just like to ask questions." I responded.

"Well... Can you at least unchain... me for a little if your gonna interrogate... me...?" He asked.

"I suppose. Your acting like a good boy." I smiled.

I snapped my fingers freeing him from his chains.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now... Can you answer me? Did you ever expect me to win?" I asked.

"Well... I did towards the end... of the war but... during the beginning... I was confident..." He admitted.

I was held aback by one thing.

The tint of shame in his voice.

"Are you sad?" I inquired.

"Very." He immediately admitted. "I'm in Hell with some... female spirit... interrogating me."

"Well... I'll admit that was a stupid question. Here's a good one, if given the chance... Would you join me?" I asked with a slight smirk on my face.

He fell silent.

"I would really love for you to join me.~ You can be my second in command. Doesn't that sound fun?" I smiled.

I was getting into his head.

I realized the little hope left in him was fading away.

For a moment, I felt something I never felt before... I realized how much I had broken this boy. Crushed his dreams, killed his friends, imprisoned him here... Huh. I wonder.

Oh well, who cares.

The silence ceased.

"Okay." He muttered.

I smiled.

Nice to see you finally join the right side, Green.

He got up and stood beside me.

"Well your my boss... What are your first orders?" He asked.

"For now I don't want anything done. I see no need as the world is already being crippled by my forces. Now let's fit you with some armor and fix you up. I don't want my second in command to be a broken, crippled nothing."

He nodded.

I summoned a portal.

All according to plan. 