Board Thread:Shitposting/Random crap/@comment-34369352-20190504074309

Half of this is a rant and the other half is a message of gratitude. I understand if you skip some parts of the text...I am already happy that you took time out of your life to read this stupid message.

Ah…I apologize if I got a spelling mistake, grammar mistake, or if the entire piece of text just looks like garbage to you. I always get these sorts of things when I try to write something.

So this..is to all the users who I have met throughout my entire journey on this wiki.

When I was younger, I used to have a decent number of friends. I remember it was during kindergarten. Despite the fact that I was pretty much bullied by my groupmates every single day, and the fact that the rest of the class pretty much singles me out, I’ve always looked forward to playing with my friends during recreational time.

A few years back, I was forced to move to Canada. My English-speaking skills still wasn’t so good at that point. I was singled out and labeled as an outcast. I started turning to reading books and looking at YouTube videos in order to stimulate human interaction.

When I returned to my friends for summer break during first year, almost all of my friends abandoned me and left me alone because they’ve already found new replacements of me when I was away in Canada. It was at this point that I started realizing how fragile life can be and seeing how the world is not as happy as I made it out to be.

Back in Canada, it seems like being away from her husband for so long and the stress of having to take the responsibility of being a single parent has started taking a toll on my mother. She started becoming more controlling, violent, and seems to unconsciously take joy in psychologically and mentally torturing me while being a hypocrite all at the same time. For some reason, no one seems to notice this or care about the way she treats me, or think all of this is normal. I’ve heard in a lot of conversations of my mother talking about how she treats outsiders better than their children and saying people with kids have better temper because they can take it out on their children. I’ve experienced several instances on times where we start arguing in public and she forces me to take the conversation home. I think she means the best for me, but sometimes it really feels like the only thing she cares about me is my grades. She likes to-

I think that’s enough.

Because of the fact that my mother is the only one that lives with my in our entire house, this has caused some negative influences on my social skills.

Well, due to my lack of friends and my family problems, I’ve started developing mental issues. I found myself imagining homicide of some people around me, thoughts of death, feeling depressed on my own while being hyperactive and weird around other people. These are just some weird things I’ve began noticing about myself. I’ve tried talking to my mother, but all I got was some scolding and “It’s probably your fault”. I’ve thought about going to see a psychologist or go to therapy, but my mother would never let me do something so “degrading” as such. I think she just wants to pretend to have a normal child despite all of the strange symptoms I’m displaying.

The only thing that is keeping me up and running is…well…you guys.

All of my friends here. On the internet.

You are honestly pretty much the main reason why I convince myself to get up every single day.

To know that someone’s always waiting, for me to update my stories, for me to reply to a message, to just know that SOMEONE CARES.

It does wonders to my motivation.

All of you treat me better than anyone ever had in real life. Despite the rules I’ve broken, despite the awful stories I write, despite how weird I am.

Heck, I’m even voted admin on this wiki.

Sometimes, I really do wonder if a piece or garbage like me deserve these friends at all.

I’m eternally grateful to be able to find this community in the duration of my short life.

Thank you all, for always being there, and for getting me through the hardest part of my life.

-Bella, I am a sword. A talking sword. Why am I a talking sword? (talk) 07:43, May 4, 2019 (UTC) 