Vent

This really...

Has nothing to do with Minecraft. It's a vent.

It's really personal.

And it's a bit of a rant.

....

She was crying on the couch. All her anger and frustration at life just simmers down to sadness.

What can she do anyways? Even if she tried to fight back, people will start turning against her and punish her for her “crimes”.

“…so you see, this is why you shouldn’t be friends with that kind of people….”

Her mother, who was slapping her just a few hours ago, is now giving her advice to her social problems.

That woman probably had bipolar disorder, though they definitely wouldn’t admit it.

“…You have to be friends with the popular girls, that how you’re going to be loved by all…”

She wanted to puke. That is horrible advice.

Thinking back to the numerous numbers of times the popular ones has verbally abused her, she silently sighs but nodded anyways.

She doesn’t want another beating.

“…When I was young, I was stylish-“

And sluttish.

“-and all the boys fell for me! That’s also how I met your father. I just don’t know how we managed to come up with a loser like you.”

Ha. Ha. Ha.

As she hears her mother ramble on in the background, she curled up against herself and started crying even harder.

Her mother didn’t even notice.

Maybe it’s because she’s not making any sound while crying.

“…maybe if you just stop hanging out with those pathetic losers, maybe you’d be a better person…”

Would she?

She thought back to a hand. Asking her for money and blaming her when they don’t have enough. Asking her for the answer to the homework and screaming at her when they get a bad grade. Asking her for food and throwing them in the trash when they didn’t like it.

Perhaps she would.

“You know why being a popular girl is better, right?”

Yes. She does. She still remembers how the boys always seems to follow (or is it lust over?) the popular girls. The girls with so much makeup on their face that their natural features just seems unidentifiable anymore. The girls that jumped to bully any misfit at every chance they had. The girls that seems to act nice but has the heart of a snake. The girls that sleeps with almost every boy in school.

She’ll never understand how people work.

“…just stop trying to study so hard! It’s not like your grades are any better, anyways.”

She tries. She really does. But it seems like her hard work is never enough to get a good grade. Whatever. Her teachers has already labeled her as a trouble child.

“…you need to stop eating so much. Go exercise or something… You’re too fat and ugly…”

She doesn’t even want to eat that much. It just seems like every time she sees food; her brain just misreads her negative emotions into appetite and she can’t stop eating. She also don’t exercise much. She isn’t interested in sport, and she has no actual friends she can play with anyways. Sometimes she can’t even seem to muster the energy to get up from bed.

That’s not good…is it?

“…addicted to the internet. Why do you like stupid electronics so much? It’s not like you even use your social media properly or anything…”

But that’s her only pillar of sanity. Her only safe haven. The books, the online friends, her imagination…

“…you’re not a good daughter…Why can’t I have a normal child?”

That’s it. She’s had enough.

‘Just kill me just kill me just kill me just kill me just kill-’ Those words seem to be on a loop inside of her head.

She really didn’t want to live anymore.

She looks with pleading eyes at her mother.

Did it look like she was begging for death? She was never very good with making the correct expressions and body language.

“Oh wait, my boyfriend just called. I’ll be right back! Oh, and I’m confiscating all your electronics for one months! Love you!”

Why didn’t her mother kill her?

Still, she felt a bit of relief from the fact that her mother has left.

She uncurled her body and just stared at the ceiling for the rest of the time, wishing she can disappear from reality.