The cube

[December 15th, 2013]

Hi everyone, I know it's my first post here, but this will also be my last. I just wanted to warn all of you so that no one has to suffer the same sad fate as me. Back in December of 2013 I was in middle school and had just got off my friends private server but decided to go into my own world and strip mine, let's just say my school's deadlines didn't matter that much to me and I ended up spending an absorbent amount of time in the mine, 8 hours to be exact. After I began building my way back to the surface using the spare dirt and cobble in my inventory from hours of extraction I reached the surface. Once I reached the over world and my Minecraft's shaders adjusted to all the new bloom, I could only make out what seemed to be a large structure off in the distance made of what appeared to be Diamond blocks, ecstatic and already having wasted so much time, I took on this new endeavor. Though as I came closer I was more excited, realizing I was correct as I saw its full erect structure before me, revealing that it's hardened structure was entombed in pure Diamond blocks.

When I saw the Diamond blocks before me I didn't even hesitate, whipping out the Diamond pick I had gained on the endeavor. As I began mining the penor that very obviously didn't generate naturally, the sound of a block popping from the structure was the final bit of satisfaction I had before the pain began wafting over me. I felt what can only be described as a surging pain like that of a heart attack, only that instead of being in my left arm, it was on the left side of my cockus. As I reached into my pants to pull them down and investigate, I collided with something soft in my pubes. Ripping my pants off I looked down to sorrow, there my Klingon was missing a perfect 0.5inch by 0.5inch square and digging through my pubes I found the aforementioned missing cube, with tears in my eyes I began to try pushing it back into the now empty chasm. This was a mistake, the block popped back out, updating the chunk on my junk and causing all the blocks to collapse on one side, lop siding me for life.

With the deformity I can only assume was related to Minecraft, I logged off and uninstalled the game. Swearing to never return as I now have to pee and nut to the left and my medical bills only get heftier as they realized I didn't have proper vein structure and they had to do corrective surgery.

I do not plan to return.