Talk:The Mojang Kid/@comment-38808443-20200105025135

Honestly I find this pasta speeding to fast. It's like a big part of the story explained in one sentence. And well this is cliche, with the whole 'a weird entity joins my world' But I do like that there is more plot as to there are several of these things. Still this is a first, and I guess people learn as they continue creating pastas.

But this isn't bad for a first. I have seen pastas much worse than this. All I really can recommend is Add More Detail. When you say that the mansion starts burning, that really doesn't do anything. Explain your feelings, how your friends are feeling. What they're saying. I mean you mention your friends but they don't seem soo important other than saying a few things like, "A hacker' which is obvious. Detail and a bit more involement will DEFINETLY help your case in writing!

Overall a solid 5/10!