MPW's Chrimbo Vacation-o 2

December 1st: Walmart
(In a Walmart hopefully never near you, a wild MPW disguises as Santa)

 Jeez, I feel itchy in all of the wrong areas in this suit.

 Didn't need to know that. Thanks.

 C'mon MPW, lighten up. It's Christmas!!!

 ...

 Christmas month I meant. Uh- yeah. Christmas month. Heh. MOVING ON!

 (Walks into the changing room) Ey! How is our Santa doing?

 (Putting on the beard) Not good.

 Oh? Why?

 I've done some calculations. This is not a comfortable suit to be in.

 C'mon dude, make light of the situation!

 Alright, just keep the children distracted when I go in to scratch my ornaments which will be a hundred times itchy in this suit.

 ...

 You heard me. Oh would you look at the time! Suit up, fellow elves! We got a long day on our hands. (Walking out of the room.)

 (Turns to Chromebookdude and X-Inbox) Was it really a good idea letting MPW do this?

 He said the money was the only thing keeping him going.

 Of course. Wait- how much money is on the table?

<Henriot5> 3 dollars.

<X-Inbox> 3 DOLLARS?

<Henriot5> You heard me. This Walmart has had several lawsuits, and is bankrupt.

<X-Inbox> (Singing as he walks out) Joy to the world, what is my life? A jolly, jolly mess-

A few minutes later
<Kid> Oh, hey santa!

<MPW as Santa> HO HO HO! Hello there you brat- I mean wonderful kid who I'd definitely adopt if I was bringing this gig to the adoption center. Ahem- have you been a good boy?

<Kid> Oh yeah, Santa! I killed my dog with my baseball bat!

<MPW> O-O Okay then! W-what would you like for Christmas?

<Kid> A shotgun-

<MPW> Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Kid, I know guns are cool, but the FTC just sued Youtube for-

<Kid> I DON'T CARE! GIVE ME A SHOTGUN, SANTA!

<MPW> Kid, let's not today. Aight?

<Kid> THAT'S IT! FUDGE THIS! (Begins wrecking the set.)

<MPW> Oh wow.

(X-Inbox, Chromebookdude, and Henriot5 all dressed up in elf costumes walk out.)

<Henriot5> Hey MPW- WHAT THE TRUCK!?

<Kid> (Whilst going on a rampage, knocks over the tree. The tree is falling above MPW.)

<MPW> Wai- (Looks up) Dad!?

(SMASH)

<MPW> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I MUST'VE TAKEN COCAINE AGAIN!

<The innocent people> (Hears MPW's remark) DRUGGIE IN THE STORE! GET 'EM POLICE!

<Cop 1> PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

<MPW> OOH HI THERE REV AND DEADLOCK. WHY ARE YOU WEARING BIKINIS?

<Cop 2> OH HE GAY

<Kid> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

<Cop 1> THERE! THAT LITTLE KID IS CAUSING CHAOS!

<Cop 2> (Arrests the kid in Jailbreak) YOU ARE UNDER ARREST. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO A LAWYER. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO A-

<Kid> (In mind: HAHAH! LOOSER! YOU WORE MAKEUP) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

<MPW> WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

<Henriot5> This is going really well, MPW.

<X-Inbox> Lovely for that 3 dollars, no?

<MPW> Wait. 3 dollars? What the heck am I doing this fo-

<Cop 1> OMG HE SWORE IN A CHRISTIAN SERVER

<Cop 2> GET HIM!

<MPW> DON'T DO IT! I WILL BANISH BOTH OF YOU FROM THE STORY IF YOU DO!

<Cop 1 and 2> Fine. Take the child away.

<Kid's mom> OMG YAY! HE'S FINALLY GOING!

<Kid> I WILL BE BACK-

Back to MPW...
(The walmart staff kick the group out, which are still in their costumes.)

<MPW> OW! Ugh. That didn't go so well.

<Henriot5> No kidding.

WIP