How 2 Make a Good Burger

At this point the thing is dying so let's give 'er some closure, no?

step 1: just grab some buns
okay so here you want to grab your a- oh sorry i mean you want to grab any grocery store bun. if you're poor like the man i saw on the street earlier, you can use loaves of bread. wow look at that shit.

the best burgers require a toaster or a microwave. what you want to do is toast these babies. if you have fire breath, your good. but these will do for now. just throw them in and wait for it to (POP) AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

step 2: prepare the beef
i gotta lot of beef with a lot of people so let's get this started. here i have dead dog carcasses ground up into a meaty like substance that we are going to use today for our borger. you'll also want a frying pan, some oil and clorox. also cheese if you're begging for diabetes.

what you're gonna do now is shape your meat into a patty like thing and then put a pan on a hot burner with oil. now drop the burger in the hot oil and let it cook. you'll tell if the burger is done when your house begins to burn down. when you see this, flip it and spray some clorox on. now add your favorite kind of cheese and maybe some onion.

you'll know when it's done by the time your house is ashes. take the burger out and put it on those toasted buns mmmmm

step 3: toppings
if you haven't already had enough going on between those buns, add some liveliness to that fucking burger with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayo, bbq sauce, children, horse shit, and so on.

step 4: enjoy
you have made a successful burger. ya. can i die now?

yes

ok.